Jeff Minter's Mintermas Gift Suggestions

Hello Minters! It's me your best friend Jeff Minter here again to squirt my ideas into your love hole.

It's been a busy year for me and you might have missed all the Minter gossip because you don't read the papers or watch the news or have the internet and because you live in a cave. I live in a cave. It's filled with pictures of the lovely man from the BT adverts. I cut his head out and put it on some animals because that's the sort of thing I've been busy doing this year.

Isn't he dreamy? I have another picture of him that I can't show you, and I keep that under my bed. I only have 2 suggestions for you this year but they're so good and so expensive you'll be begging me to throw you pennies from my ivory tower before New Year's if you buy them. Happy Mintermas!

Jeff Minter's: Kevin Costner's: Waterworld

I buy this for my wife every year and then watch it on my own. She's not allowed to watch! I like to watch Costner pull hundreds of levers and then discover land at the end with his gills. I don't really understand the plot but I'm pretty sure they based it on my life. Stephen Spielberg who's the director even asked me to play the lead but I was too handsome and it made him throw up.

 

Battlestar Galactica 1978 Starring Jeff Minter

Back before you were born I came to this planet on a ragtag fleet of ships escaping a ruthless race of robot people called the Boodays. On my travels I met with the devil himself, Count Eeblee, and loved and lost the most beautiful woman there ever was, Boxey's Mum.  I also built a mechanical dog which I made love to every night. His name was Tigh. This is the best present you could ever buy a fan of me or of science non fiction, which is everybody!

I hope you enjoy your presents, Minters. I'm spending this Mintermas worshipping the Ptoltecs. I've also started a Turkey farm. Yesterday one of the birds gave birth to the farms first turtle. Success!